Sunday Funday?

    It's been a hard couple of days. Zack is out of town, Greg (Jack's father) and I have been having some tension, I came down with a sinus infection, finances are tight and I got less than what I would have liked on a test (likely due to all the aforementioned stress). All within about 48 hours of each other. Needless to say, when I got home Saturday afternoon I was ready for a cocktail, but given the being sick thing, I think I may have to wait until next week.
  Luckily, I have the Worlds Greatest Roomates who got pizza, made me tea and doled out the appropriate meds for my head and congestion, and made pancakes for Jack and I in the morning. My nose won't stop running but at least my heart is starting to feel better. Thank god for some people.
  I am going to cuddle Jack, watch movies and kiss Zack when he gets home tonight.

May you all have a beautiful Sunday.

In two

    I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. After Jack was dropped off, after the shoes were removed and snacks were had, after the crayons were dumped on the floor and the cars and helicopters were found- I had a meltdown. It was small but it hurt the way some realizations that manage to find the bruises in your heart that remain just below the surface, unseen to the human eye, hurt. Jack is a child of divorce.

    Jack is a child who sees one parent and not the other, some times and other times. He is growing in an environment that was once demolished and is being reconstructed. And he is beautiful. And smart. And intuitive and kind. And I only see him half of the time. When I find a new characteristic, when a new mannerism emerges that wasn't there before, that I wasn't present for when it was discovered, I can't help but feel defeated at times. At time. Time, It, who is incredibly unforgiving.

   Watching your child grow up is bittersweet in and of itself. Cutting that time in half is a pill that is harder to swallow. Yesterday that pill got caught in my throat, again.

   I don't want him to be lonely. I don't want him to think that because I'm not there physically sometimes, that I care less.

 I miss him before he leaves up until he comes back. Depending on the serotonin levels in my brain I either leave his toys out to remind myself that he's coming back to pick them up again, or I put them away immediately so that I don't come across them in moments of melancholy. In the back of my head there is this reoccurring thought, or maybe plea, that One Day things will change. One Day I'll wake up  in the same house with him there, every day. One Day things will be Normal again.

In the meantime I try and soak up the time he's here. I stare at him more when he isn't looking, committing every hair and freckle to memory before it changes again. I drink up the "moms" that come out of his mouth like it's a protein my soul is deprived of. And when he leaves I put my sails back up and tread water until that lighthouse turns back on again, when crayons are dumped on the floor and stories are read at bedtime.

Friday Fondue

  This was a feature I had over at Lullabies that I'd still like to keep because, lets face it- we all tend to surf the web and want to share our findings in the hopes that they bring a smile to somebody else.

I've been a bit MIA from the blogging world which I hope to remedy soon. As it stands, the last week has been an adjustment due to starting a new job (I'll be doing tech support for Apple) and trying to figure out a schedule in which to have Jack and all the other facets of life that actually gives one life outside of the daily grind. More on all of that to come.

Meanwhile, here's some stuff that tickled my fancy this week-

For parents that have to laugh at the absurdities of other parents (equal measures of hilarious and snarky make for a site that you'll be scrolling through for awhile)- STFU, Parents.

Newport Folk Fest fashion on Refinery29.

Lunar themed bedding anybody?

I REEAAALLLLLY want to do this with Jack one day. One of the coolest things I've seen in awhile.

Oh, no big deal, just kick me in the ovaries with these awesome girls clothes. I'll recover.

I may need to add these to my Fall clothing checklist. Paired with an oversized cardigan, some skinny jeans or tights and boots and I think I'd be in business. Hurry up cooler temps.

I couldn't be happier for Noelle and her family, who welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world on Tuesday. Welcome, Ivy!

Some food and drink to try soon.

Some songs I can't get out of my head-
"Goin' Home" by Dan Auerbach 
"Shake 'Em Loose Tonight" by Rumspringa
"Heart It Races" by Dr. Dog
"Prank Calls" by Kelley Stoltz

May you all have a splendid weekend!

Indian Summer

If You Really Knew Me

 Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet (a delightful blog I've been frequenting for some time) posted a sort of get-to-know-the-author post that has been circulating the blog world, and I figured I'd jump in on it since my brain is running dry these days.

If you really knew me...

 You'd know that I am a cry baby. I cry. A lot. I cried yesterday after going to Petsmart to visit the dogs and cats that were up for adoption. I cry at every other movie. I JUST got done crying after reading a book that I've already read before. I am emotional. I blame this on being a Pisces.

You'd know that I am sentimental (see above). I keep rocks that Jack has handed me on walks. I kept my room key and light rail tickets from when I went up to Seattle last year. I currently have a note that Zack left on my door because he missed me just as I had stepped out (my cell phone is currently kaput). I'm an emotional hoarder.

You'd know I try to collect hats and vintage or vintage inspired lingerie when money permits.

You'd know that I put chipotle Tabasco on a lot of the food I eat. One of my favorite comfort foods is Ramen with a bunch of chipotle Tabasco in it.

You'd know that despite the fact that learning Spanish would be more beneficial for me, I have decided to try and learn Swedish instead (you'd also know I am half Spanish/Mexican and half Swedish).

You'd know that I want a corgi so badly it hurts.

You'd know that I am obsessed with stand up comedy/comedy in general. I have Pandora on the Louis CK station about 50% of the time and know just about every line from Chappelle's Show. In fact, Zack and I knew we were going to be instant friends (and he alleges his crush on me became full blown) when I finished a Zach Galifianakis line he was muttering to himself. I also wanted to be a cast member on SNL when I was younger, even going so far as touring NYU when I visited New York to learn about their performing arts programs. Tina Fey is my hero.

You'd know one of my biggest pastimes, up until recently, has been working on burlesque with my roommate. I debuted in April for a charity event to help an animal rescue here in Tucson. It has opened my mind so much and helped repair my relationship with my body after having a child. I owe it a lot.

You'd know my junk food weakness is hot dogs. I know they are the worst but I can't help but adore a Chicago dog, Sonoran dog or corn dog.

You'd know I can't abbreviate when texting. I just can't get into text lingo and I DO judge people a little bit if they use things like "u" or "thnx"outside of texting. I am a snob about this and I apologize in advance.

What about you? Care to share?