Currently- Jack Edition

Watching- Adventure Time. Always Adventure Time. I can't blame him though. He's made me obsessed with the show as well. Yesterday he was pretty engrossed in Home Alone (which is one of my favorite Christmas movies).

Loving- All the Christmas gifts he received yesterday. Between a bike, a Spiderman skateboard, every Ninja Turtle action figure and accessory Target had to offer and everything in between- it's safe to say I got to enjoy some calm coffee time as he spread out on the living room rug and tried to decide what he wanted to do first.

Listening to- Whatever Zack and I shuffle through in the car. He's a fan of anything catchy. His favorite band is still Queen. I thought he would have outgrown them by now, as toddlers and children often outgrow everything (last Christmas he got their greatest hits in his stocking) but now we've pretty much decided that Freddie Mercury is Jack's spirit animal. I mean...

This is a four year old Queen fan

He can do a mean "I Want To Break Free".        

    Going- Everywhere. Being that Jack is co-parented by his father and I, Jack tends to go all over the place. Between visiting his nana and pop-pop (Greg's mom and dad) on the far northwest side of Tucson, visiting Tristin's (Greg's girlfriend) family in Flagstaff to going to the far eastside of Tucson to visit with Zack's family; Jack is a travelin' man. Today we get to settle down, right in the middle, and relax at my house. And while I love being around everyone in a haze of happiness and ham, I am very much enjoying right now- just me and my boy.

Making him happy- The Sketcher shoes I got him for Christmas. I'm not sure why, but he was hell bent on getting these shoes for the last six months. I don't know what he's going to talk about now that he has them to stomp around in. The boy is particular about his shoes. I don't know where that comes from.


*Thanks to Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet for the idea of doing a kiddie edition of Currently. 

GIF Party

  Sometimes I go into a gif trance and I figured I might as well just turn it into a "thing" here. Tonight I found some Home Alone gifs that made me giggle (Home Alone also happens to be one of my favorite holiday movies), which was much needed after a day of trying to play nurse to Zack, who has come down with some flu-like sickness, only to start feeling kind of crappy myself. So, we're sick. 

 Anyway, here's my first round of what I'm going to call GIF Party (in reference to Black Flag's "TV Party"). This one is the Home Alone Edition. 

When Zack is rockin' the beard and I'm all...

When my roommate comes home from Whole Foods...

When I accidentally put my jeans in the dryer and then try and get into them a few days later...

That moment where I think the day is going well...

When somebody asks me what I'm doing over the weekend...

During "Shark Week", when I've run out of Give A Fucks...

That third cup of coffee...

Tuesday Tunes- Getting Kinky

 I was going to do a Music Monday post until I realized it was actually Tuesday. So this is my off-brand of Music Monday, the bagged cereal, if you will- Tuesday Tunes.

There's just something about this song that opens up my chest and fills it with the overwhelming urge to take a road trip.

In Reverie

 The holiday season is upon us and it's been hectic and left me with little wherewithal to blog. I've also just been a feeling hoarder lately. I used to immediately want to get things down, afraid that by the time my fingers hit the keyboard the colors, smells and textures of the moment would distort and I'd be left trying to create something tangible out of the intangible. These days I'm a little bit more present. I don't have to get everything down. The moments that count are recorded, indelibly, where it matters.

I revel in the windows cracked open, letting the fall air trace exposed arms or feet while the warmth in the slept in sheets creates a safe harbor.

I revel in my head finding the familiar places, closing my eyes and...breathe.

I revel in their laughter.

I revel in them.

"I'll get this all down later."

The now is where my heart lives. The later is where I let my mind wander. I find them in both places.

Currently

  In blogging you make so many grand plans.

"I'm going to post everyday! *and then reality sets in* "I'm going to post every other day!"

And then you don't.

"I'm going to revamp it and make the layout so aesthetically pleasing it will look like an actual legit blog!"

And then you don't.

"I'm going to network more with other bloggers and get to know the community!"

And then you don't.

I haven't. For awhile. And that's life, there are ebbs and flows and unfortunately I found myself in an ebb. Creatively, I wasn't feeling it. Time-wise, I wasn't feeling it. And frankly when you're a tiny blog in a vast blogging ocean sometimes you think "what's the point?"

But I've been blogging in some form or another since I was fifteen and it's become such a part of me that I'll never completely let it go, even when it feels as though I am due to inactivity. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that just because it isn't on the page or screen doesn't mean it's left you.

Anyway, these Currently posts have been circulating the blog world like mad and I actually like them. It's good way to get little snippets of life out there and it seems manageable so I think I'll try it.

Currently-

Watching- Lots of horror movies and American Horror Story. It's the time of year that favorites scary movie junkies and I love it. It would seem as though Jack got my genes in that realm as he has been asking me to watch "scary movies" all the time. I'm excited to get to share in this more in the future. Our Halloween's are going to be awesome.

Reading- The Rolling Stone. My roommate has a subscription and I've been thumbing through them when new ones come in. I forgot how much I love to read magazine articles. I used to want to write a column or be a journalist for a music magazine and reading articles in the Stone reminds me to keep working on writing no matter what I am writing for. It also reminded me that I haven't watched Almost Famous in awhile which I may remedy today.

Thinking about- Everything. There is absolutely no time in my life to be bored. I'm either working, thinking of the future and the process I must go through to make it a reality, and trying to stay present enough to enjoy actually going through the process. Things like future careers, finding and making a home for the three of us, finances, co-parenting Jack in harmony, taking better care of myself- these all weigh on my mind most waking hours. In between the heavy I think about how excited about Fall I am and all the activities I want to do because of it, revamping my closet, and how much a vacation sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

Loving- These two. We have been finding a happy place in bedtime stories (I've been trying to work with Jack more on reading and writing with kindergarten right around the corner. Holyshitballswhatthefuckhappenedtomybaby?!??!) lately. Jack really enjoys the ritual of it and it's just one of those things that brings a pause to the day and allows you to enjoy being close to the people you love. My favorite so far has been Frankenstein Makes A Sandwich. It's hilarious and I actually just discovered the author, Adam Rex, lives in Tucson. So obviously I must recommend it for its extreme awesomeness.

Listening to- The Walkmen.

Making me happy- All of the above. Oh, and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.


Here's to finding the flow to the ebb.

-Amanda

   We spent our six monthiversary in a way wholly our own- drinking a couple cocktails while doing the New York Times crossword puzzle in the back of the Tucson Weekly as our friends called us disgusting due to the excessive amounts of affection we generally bestow on one another.

We are not one year in, or ten years in. Not twenty-five or fifty. But we don't care. We celebrate.

We celebrate because both of us know how the world is and how seemingly impossible it felt before.
We celebrate because neither of us has ever smiled so genuinely.
We celebrate because the future is suddenly worth celebrating.

And we keep on celebrating.

                                             These two people will beat the everloving shit out of you on Scene It. 




To many more, my dear.

Words like candy

I have been, for some inexplicable reason, compiling a list of my favorite words. What are yours?

An Ever-Expanding List

melancholy

glockenspiel

perturbed

nuance

serendipitous

juggernaut

argonaut (apparently I have a thing for "-nauts")

banjo 

turpentine

lupine

chartreuse

ruminate

eviscerate

masticate

bereft

haphazard

maudlin

chasm

subtle

wane

esoteric

generator

acquiesce, also followed by...

dissent 

suspend

livid

jubilant

schedule

smitten

Bisbee

  Since Zack and I started dating, Bisbee has been our reprieve from the Tucson Blues (sometimes you just have to get out of town for a day). A mere hour from Tucson, we find weather at least ten degrees cooler (it's still in the nineties in Tucson), delicious food and spirits and a relaxed atmosphere that keeps us coming back as often as we can. I'm sure the copper hued town will be a frequent guest on this blog, as I hold it near and dear to my heart.

More is more

 I have decided I need more of the following-

More tattoos.
More tights.
More coffee.
More nights spent outside.
More cooking in the kitchen, kissing in between measuring out spices and dusting crumbs off of countertops.
More peach lemonade before it cools down and the climate changes my taste buds again.
More morning sunlight and open windows.
More rolling over because it's too hot and then finding each other while still asleep because it's us.
More us.
More walks.
More drives out to our favorite copper hued town accompanied by music and talks of nothing and everything.
More talks.
Of hope.
Of the future.
Of children.
Of houses turned into homes.
Of old age.

More of that.

Sunday Funday?

    It's been a hard couple of days. Zack is out of town, Greg (Jack's father) and I have been having some tension, I came down with a sinus infection, finances are tight and I got less than what I would have liked on a test (likely due to all the aforementioned stress). All within about 48 hours of each other. Needless to say, when I got home Saturday afternoon I was ready for a cocktail, but given the being sick thing, I think I may have to wait until next week.
  Luckily, I have the Worlds Greatest Roomates who got pizza, made me tea and doled out the appropriate meds for my head and congestion, and made pancakes for Jack and I in the morning. My nose won't stop running but at least my heart is starting to feel better. Thank god for some people.
  I am going to cuddle Jack, watch movies and kiss Zack when he gets home tonight.

May you all have a beautiful Sunday.

In two

    I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. After Jack was dropped off, after the shoes were removed and snacks were had, after the crayons were dumped on the floor and the cars and helicopters were found- I had a meltdown. It was small but it hurt the way some realizations that manage to find the bruises in your heart that remain just below the surface, unseen to the human eye, hurt. Jack is a child of divorce.

    Jack is a child who sees one parent and not the other, some times and other times. He is growing in an environment that was once demolished and is being reconstructed. And he is beautiful. And smart. And intuitive and kind. And I only see him half of the time. When I find a new characteristic, when a new mannerism emerges that wasn't there before, that I wasn't present for when it was discovered, I can't help but feel defeated at times. At time. Time, It, who is incredibly unforgiving.

   Watching your child grow up is bittersweet in and of itself. Cutting that time in half is a pill that is harder to swallow. Yesterday that pill got caught in my throat, again.

   I don't want him to be lonely. I don't want him to think that because I'm not there physically sometimes, that I care less.

 I miss him before he leaves up until he comes back. Depending on the serotonin levels in my brain I either leave his toys out to remind myself that he's coming back to pick them up again, or I put them away immediately so that I don't come across them in moments of melancholy. In the back of my head there is this reoccurring thought, or maybe plea, that One Day things will change. One Day I'll wake up  in the same house with him there, every day. One Day things will be Normal again.

In the meantime I try and soak up the time he's here. I stare at him more when he isn't looking, committing every hair and freckle to memory before it changes again. I drink up the "moms" that come out of his mouth like it's a protein my soul is deprived of. And when he leaves I put my sails back up and tread water until that lighthouse turns back on again, when crayons are dumped on the floor and stories are read at bedtime.

Friday Fondue

  This was a feature I had over at Lullabies that I'd still like to keep because, lets face it- we all tend to surf the web and want to share our findings in the hopes that they bring a smile to somebody else.

I've been a bit MIA from the blogging world which I hope to remedy soon. As it stands, the last week has been an adjustment due to starting a new job (I'll be doing tech support for Apple) and trying to figure out a schedule in which to have Jack and all the other facets of life that actually gives one life outside of the daily grind. More on all of that to come.

Meanwhile, here's some stuff that tickled my fancy this week-

For parents that have to laugh at the absurdities of other parents (equal measures of hilarious and snarky make for a site that you'll be scrolling through for awhile)- STFU, Parents.

Newport Folk Fest fashion on Refinery29.

Lunar themed bedding anybody?

I REEAAALLLLLY want to do this with Jack one day. One of the coolest things I've seen in awhile.

Oh, no big deal, just kick me in the ovaries with these awesome girls clothes. I'll recover.

I may need to add these to my Fall clothing checklist. Paired with an oversized cardigan, some skinny jeans or tights and boots and I think I'd be in business. Hurry up cooler temps.

I couldn't be happier for Noelle and her family, who welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world on Tuesday. Welcome, Ivy!

Some food and drink to try soon.

Some songs I can't get out of my head-
"Goin' Home" by Dan Auerbach 
"Shake 'Em Loose Tonight" by Rumspringa
"Heart It Races" by Dr. Dog
"Prank Calls" by Kelley Stoltz

May you all have a splendid weekend!

Indian Summer

If You Really Knew Me

 Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet (a delightful blog I've been frequenting for some time) posted a sort of get-to-know-the-author post that has been circulating the blog world, and I figured I'd jump in on it since my brain is running dry these days.

If you really knew me...

 You'd know that I am a cry baby. I cry. A lot. I cried yesterday after going to Petsmart to visit the dogs and cats that were up for adoption. I cry at every other movie. I JUST got done crying after reading a book that I've already read before. I am emotional. I blame this on being a Pisces.

You'd know that I am sentimental (see above). I keep rocks that Jack has handed me on walks. I kept my room key and light rail tickets from when I went up to Seattle last year. I currently have a note that Zack left on my door because he missed me just as I had stepped out (my cell phone is currently kaput). I'm an emotional hoarder.

You'd know I try to collect hats and vintage or vintage inspired lingerie when money permits.

You'd know that I put chipotle Tabasco on a lot of the food I eat. One of my favorite comfort foods is Ramen with a bunch of chipotle Tabasco in it.

You'd know that despite the fact that learning Spanish would be more beneficial for me, I have decided to try and learn Swedish instead (you'd also know I am half Spanish/Mexican and half Swedish).

You'd know that I want a corgi so badly it hurts.

You'd know that I am obsessed with stand up comedy/comedy in general. I have Pandora on the Louis CK station about 50% of the time and know just about every line from Chappelle's Show. In fact, Zack and I knew we were going to be instant friends (and he alleges his crush on me became full blown) when I finished a Zach Galifianakis line he was muttering to himself. I also wanted to be a cast member on SNL when I was younger, even going so far as touring NYU when I visited New York to learn about their performing arts programs. Tina Fey is my hero.

You'd know one of my biggest pastimes, up until recently, has been working on burlesque with my roommate. I debuted in April for a charity event to help an animal rescue here in Tucson. It has opened my mind so much and helped repair my relationship with my body after having a child. I owe it a lot.

You'd know my junk food weakness is hot dogs. I know they are the worst but I can't help but adore a Chicago dog, Sonoran dog or corn dog.

You'd know I can't abbreviate when texting. I just can't get into text lingo and I DO judge people a little bit if they use things like "u" or "thnx"outside of texting. I am a snob about this and I apologize in advance.

What about you? Care to share?

Monsoon Season

Under Construction

Greetings and salutations! I suppose I should introduce myself-

     My name is Amanda Sierra. I've been blogging for some time previously at Lullabies To Terrorize, but felt the overwhelming urge to change it up and move in a direction more relevant to my life. We are always evolving, no?
  I am a relatively young (24) mama to a 4 year-old boy named Jack.

   I co-parent Jack with his father, who I maintain a civil relationship with after our divorce, and he and I have quasi-recently incorporated our significant others into this dynamic. It takes a village and mine is a pretty amazing one that I am thankful for everyday.
  I currently live with my best friend, Colleen, and her boyfriend David.

      I consider these two people my family and without them I probably would have had a hard time making it through the last year. They have given me a place to live, pushed me to become the person I want to be, helped me reach goals and thanks to them I also ended up meeting the love of my life.

      I met Zack November 2011 when I applied for a serving position at a local mom n' pop type bar and restaurant called Bumsted's. While we got along famously and while we became increasingly close through the months, we Jim and Pam'ed our way through countless shifts, after hours camaraderie and conversations that would last until dawn. We made it official in April this year and have been inseparable ever since.

     
  I consider myself very lucky and I suppose it is this mutual belief (and sometimes utter disbelief) that makes us impossibly happy when we close our eyes and say goodnight.
  I start this new blog with the hope of it evolving into both a place to document my life and eventually I'd like to finally accomplish one of my goals- to collect and then sell vintage clothing.

Some random tidbits-
 * My favorite things in life include but are not limited to- music, music, music, vintage clothing and accessories, movies, Corgis, peter-pan collars, playing/annoying Colleen's four cats Stella, Jenna, Mary Jane and Serj, burlesque (I am a hobbyist and have finally started to transition into performing for an audience), being Jack's mother, food, interior design, photography, bloody marys, writing, poetry, Bisbee and Tucson Arizona, Seattle, and being around the people I hold dear to my heart.

 I'm excited to see where this new blog will go and I hope I get to know new readers and fellow bloggers. Thanks for stopping by!